This prayer is for the hours after an argument, when the words have stopped but the hurt, the replaying and the tension are still in the room. Pray it when you are ready to bring the conflict to God, whether that is in the car, at the kitchen sink or on your knees by the bed. You can read it aloud exactly as written, or use it as a starting point and speak in your own words.
Prayer After an Argument
Lord, I come to you still feeling the sting of what was said and what I said back. I replay the conversation and I can see where I was right, and I can also see where I was unkind, quick to defend myself and slow to listen. Show me the truth about my own heart. Give me the honesty to name my part without excusing it and without drowning in guilt.
Father, I ask you to soften what has hardened in me. Quiet the urge to win, to prove my point, or to go cold and silent to punish the other person. Where I have been hurtful, help me to say so plainly. Where I am still angry, give me room to feel it without letting it set the terms of what I do next. Guard my tongue and my tone in the hours ahead.
I also bring you the person I argued with. Be near to them right now, whatever they are feeling. Heal whatever was wounded in our exchange, and go ahead of me into the conversation that needs to come. Give us both patience and a willingness to hear each other. Restore what is broken between us, in your time and in your way. Amen.
A Shorter Version to Pray in a Moment
Lord, I am still upset from that argument, and I do not want to carry it into the rest of my day. Show me what is mine to own and what I need to let go. Slow my reactions and fill me with your patience. Help me to speak with gentleness when I speak again, and bring peace to the relationship that was strained. Amen.
Scriptures to Pray Alongside
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 “Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 and don’t give place to the devil.
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Paul acknowledges that anger can arise, but he warns against letting it settle and take root. Pray this when you feel the pull to hold a grudge overnight, asking God to help you deal with your anger before it hardens.
James 1:19
So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger…
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This verse names a sequence that is hard to follow in the heat of conflict: listen first, speak slowly, and let anger come last. Use it as a prayer for your ears and your mouth, asking for the discipline to slow down.
Matthew 5:23-24
23 “If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
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Jesus tells his listeners to go and be reconciled before bringing their gift to God. Pray this verse by naming the person you need to make peace with, and ask God to prepare the way for that first step.
Colossians 3:12-13
12 Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.
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These verses describe clothing ourselves with compassion, kindness and patience, and bearing with one another while forgiving freely. Pray them as a request to be dressed in these qualities, especially toward the person who hurt you or whom you hurt.
Psalm 34:18
The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.
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The psalmist tells us that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted. When an argument leaves you feeling small, rejected or raw, pray this verse to remind your heart that God is near in the middle of the mess.
How to Pray This Prayer
Try praying this when you have a few quiet minutes, ideally before you try to speak to the other person again. A car parked for a moment, a walk around the block or a seat by a window all work well. If your hands are restless, hold a cup of tea or rest them open on your lap, letting each line of the prayer settle before you move on.
If you share a home or a life with the person you argued with, consider asking a trusted friend, a spouse or a family member to pray it with you. Hearing another voice speak the words can loosen the knot in your chest. You might even pray the blessing below over the other person, which can soften your own heart as you say it.
A Blessing to Close
May the Lord who is near to the brokenhearted steady you in this hard hour. May he give you the courage to speak truth with love and the humility to listen well. May the peace of Christ settle over both of you, and may what was broken be gently made whole in his time.
