These prayers are for the hours after you have said something you wish you could take back, or after someone has said something that still stings. Pray them when the house is quiet, when you are sitting in the car before going inside, or when the silence between you and another person feels heavy. You can read the prayer aloud exactly as written, or use it as a starting point and speak in your own words.
Prayers After an Argument
Lord, I come to you still feeling the heat of what was said. My voice was sharp, and I know some of my words came from pride and fear more than from truth. Show me what I did that hurt the person I love, and give me the honesty to see it without hiding behind my own reasons. Where I spoke in anger, I ask you to cool my heart. Where I was right about something, help me remember that being right is not the same as being kind.
Father, I also lift up the other person in this conflict. You know what they are carrying that I may not see. Soften their heart toward me, and guard their spirit from bitterness. Please do not let this disagreement harden into distance between us. If there is a conversation we need to have, give us the timing, the patience and the words, and let us listen to each other before we try to be understood. Keep our home, our friendship, or our work a place of peace, and help us return to one another with humility.
Thank you that you are not thrown off balance by our quarrels, and that your love does not depend on our getting everything right. Forgive me for the things I said and the things I left unsaid. Teach me to apologize plainly when I am wrong and to forgive quickly when I am hurt. Make us both willing to repair what has been damaged. Amen.
A Shorter Version to Pray in a Moment
Lord, I have said things I regret, and I am still upset by what was said to me. Show me my part in this, and help me admit it. Calm my heart and quiet my tongue. Soften the other person’s heart toward me, and give us both the wisdom to speak gently when we talk again. Heal what is broken between us, and make us willing to make peace. Amen.
Scriptures to Pray Alongside
Ephesians 4:26-27
26 “Be angry, and don’t sin.” Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 and don’t give place to the devil.
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Pray this when anger has been part of the argument. Ask God to help you deal with your anger before it settles into resentment or hands the enemy a foothold in your relationship.
James 1:19
So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger…
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Use this verse to ask for slower speech and quicker listening. Pray that you would hear the other person before you defend yourself, especially in the hours after a fight.
Matthew 5:23-24
23 “If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
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This passage speaks directly to reconciliation. Pray that God would show you who needs an apology from you and give you the courage to go to them.
Colossians 3:13
Bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do.
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Pray this verse for the grace to forgive the other person as you have been forgiven. Ask God to loosen the grip of old grievances so you can release what was said.
Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.
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Pray this as a request for peace that depends on more than your own effort. Ask God to help you do your part so that, as far as it depends on you, you may live at peace with the other person.
How to Pray This Prayer
Try praying the longer version when you are alone and have a few quiet minutes, such as before bed or in the car before you walk back into the house. Sit somewhere you will not be interrupted, and keep a pen nearby in case God brings a specific memory or an apology to mind as you pray. Some people find it helpful to hold something in their hands, like a cup of tea or the edge of a table, as a physical reminder to release tension.
You might also pray this with a friend, spouse, or trusted church member who can stand with you in it. Ask them to pray for the other person as well, so that the conflict is carried by more than one heart. If you share a home with the person you argued with, consider praying the shorter version quietly while they are near, asking God to let warmth return to the room before the evening ends.
A Blessing to Close
May the Lord who is patient with us make your heart gentle and your words kind. May the one you argued with feel the peace of God settle over them tonight. May grace meet you in the places where you were wrong, and may the strain between you give way to honest, healing conversation.
